DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
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Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
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You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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