I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
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