I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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