clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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