my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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