Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
