cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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