She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize