She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
