I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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