I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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