I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
