Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
