why didn't you poke me back
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
