I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
