my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
