I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
