she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
