whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I wish I only lived at night.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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