i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
