Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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