can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
