rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
