Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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