pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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