taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
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We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
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I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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