Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
