4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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