you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
