Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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