i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
