that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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