I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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