It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
