we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
