dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
