Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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