Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
