we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
