Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
