i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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