a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
