I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
