I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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