i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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