New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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