Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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