All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
