I cockslap morals
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
