It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
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u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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