is your mom at the bar?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
