I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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