Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
