i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
