If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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