Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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