He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
