You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
