I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize