D3 body, D1 cock
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
