I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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