I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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