About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
