If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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