Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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