Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
