have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
