I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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