But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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